Overview
A transformative look at the hidden work of adult daughters, offering a fresh perspective on caregiving, emotional resilience, and the power daughters have to shape healthier, more fulfilling family connections—for readers of both Susan Cain’s Quiet and Eve Rodsky’s Fair Play.
Daughters often grow up believing their role in the family is simple: love your parents, help out when you can, and carry on the traditions that bind you together. But adulthood reveals a more complicated reality—one where women take on the invisible labor of emotional caregiving, crisis management, and unspoken expectations that leave them stretched thin and often unseen.
So, what is “daughtering”? If you’re a woman and you’ve ever dreaded a weekly phone call to your mother or planned a multi-generational family vacation or considered everyone’s dietary needs at Thanksgiving (including your vegan cousin), then you are daughtering. It’s the unpaid, invisible work of holding a family together.
In Good Daughtering, Dr. Allison M. Alford—a leading researcher in family communication—unpacks the untold story of adult daughters and the quiet, essential work they do. Drawing on years of groundbreaking research and personal interviews, she explores how societal expectations, gender roles, and generational dynamics shape the experiences of daughters in ways that are often misunderstood or overlooked.
From the subtle ways women navigate generational expectations to the emotional weight of balancing their own lives with the needs of their parents, Good Daughtering reveals the complexities of a role that is too often taken for granted. Full of sharp insights, relatable stories, and actionable tools, Dr. Alford’s groundbreaking approach offers women a chance to reflect on their relationships, recalibrate their roles, and reclaim joy and balance in their lives.
Yet, the impact of daughters extends far beyond their own nuclear families, influencing caregiving systems, social expectations, and even the economy:
- Research shows that daughters are the primary drivers of unpaid care across generations, supporting not just aging parents but a vast infrastructure that props up healthcare and eldercare systems without compensation.
- In 2022 alone, women performed $625 billion worth of unpaid care work—labor that props up families and entire economies yet remains uncompensated and undervalued in policy and public discourse.
- Daughters are most responsible for planning and saving for their futures, and those of their families, and are most often tasked with supporting parents, emotionally and practically as they navigate aging and potential health challenges.
More than a prescriptive guide Good Daughtering is the long-overdue recognition of the daughters who carry the weight in a family. It’s a roadmap for creating relationships that are not just functional but flourishing. This is the book every daughter deserves: an invitation to be seen, valued, and empowered in her role while honoring her own needs and desires.
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