Overview
THEY’RE COMING FOR YOU
Coulrophobia--the fear of clowns--is very real and for good reason. You might think these red-nosed jokers are creepy, sure, but certainly not dangerous. You’d be wrong. Clowns never reveal their real names, and dress to obscure their identities. The rules of civilized society don't apply to them (what other stranger could offer candy to children and get away with it?), they have countless places to hide weapons on their person, and their appearance is downright unnatural. Clowns are the scariest people on earth, and the truth is, they are coming for your valuables, your children, and your sanity.
In this comprehensive guide to self-protection from clown creepery, petty crime, and violence, Chuck Sambuchino--founder of the anti-clown group Red Nose Alert--delves into the terrifying clown underworld to provide the knowledge you need to know to protect yourself from these seemingly innocuous gagmen, using his proven four-step system: ASSESS, ANALYZE, DEFEND, PROTECT. Included within are instructions on how to defeat a clown in close combat, tips for spotting the plainclothes clown, and tutorials for fully clown-proofing your home against these painted and bewigged warriors. Most importantly, you’ll learn what to do when clowns attack… because it’s only a matter of time before they do.
Coulrophobia--the fear of clowns--is very real and for good reason. You might think these red-nosed jokers are creepy, sure, but certainly not dangerous. You’d be wrong. Clowns never reveal their real names, and dress to obscure their identities. The rules of civilized society don't apply to them (what other stranger could offer candy to children and get away with it?), they have countless places to hide weapons on their person, and their appearance is downright unnatural. Clowns are the scariest people on earth, and the truth is, they are coming for your valuables, your children, and your sanity.
In this comprehensive guide to self-protection from clown creepery, petty crime, and violence, Chuck Sambuchino--founder of the anti-clown group Red Nose Alert--delves into the terrifying clown underworld to provide the knowledge you need to know to protect yourself from these seemingly innocuous gagmen, using his proven four-step system: ASSESS, ANALYZE, DEFEND, PROTECT. Included within are instructions on how to defeat a clown in close combat, tips for spotting the plainclothes clown, and tutorials for fully clown-proofing your home against these painted and bewigged warriors. Most importantly, you’ll learn what to do when clowns attack… because it’s only a matter of time before they do.
While major retailers like Amazon may carry When Clowns Attack (A Survival Guide), we specialize in bulk book sales and offer personalized service from our friendly, book-smart team based in Portland, Oregon. We’re proud to offer a Price Match Guarantee and a streamlined ordering experience from people who truly care.
We’re trusted by over 75,000 customers, many of whom return time and again. Want proof? Just check out our 25,000+ customer reviews—real feedback from people who love how we do business.
Prefer to talk to a real person? Our Book Specialists are here Monday–Friday, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. PST and ready to help with your bulk order of When Clowns Attack (A Survival Guide).